Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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