okay pat passed out under dana's car
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
