Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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