I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
