Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
