But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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