that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Your cock deserves a montage
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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