So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
