Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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