guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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