that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
