My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
