Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
