Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
