Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
