i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
