all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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