I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We are two peas in an std pod
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
