I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
