when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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