Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
