Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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