oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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