Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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