so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
