No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
