I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He felt like a one man threesome
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have fence marks all over my body
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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