I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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