So gin and wine won't be happening again
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
