hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
