I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
smell my finger.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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