I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
