either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
