Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
