I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize