i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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