he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
