Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No stitches, just platelets and will power
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
