Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize