Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think my moral compass just broke
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