He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
