Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
