Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
