Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
