went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize