So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
