How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
