Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
