Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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