The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
