Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize