With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
