There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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