Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
