I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
