My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Semen is not good for contacts.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
