if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
