I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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