So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize