If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
is this the sara with the beer cane?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize