She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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