I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
