oh fat girl friday strikes again...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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