Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize